i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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