My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
