Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
