started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
