my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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