It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We are all done wearing pants today
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
