The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize