can u get pink eye on your cock?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
