Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
