Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Randomize
