nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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