I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
