So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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