I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
