Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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