where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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