Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
