my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
