Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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