I showed him my bush... on skype.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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