hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
did you just send me my own nude
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
