I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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