I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Your dad touched me again.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize