I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize