Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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