No, drunk sperm still make babies.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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