I don't remember. Are we still dating?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
