Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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