It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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