I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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