Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
