My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
