Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize