it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
