I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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