How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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