we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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