I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
