I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
