Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
