How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
