Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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