Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize