What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
