Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
