I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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