I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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