Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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