I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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