remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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