After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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