sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
