I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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