Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
