Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
