yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
