His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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