In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
