i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
